It was after exam,i really "self-declared holiday"i didn't expect that would be school the next day.(i was not really willing to attend school ) but i did.
I really wanted to work because i wanted to use the money that i earned to buy prom stuffs.In the first place,was it a mistake for me to go prom?Even though knowing that some of us may end up going somewhere else.
I am extremely worried that i might be the one unable to be promote to sec 5.(people might think i am able to be promoted easily however there is 40 % of chances that i may not able to be promoted)
Haiz...maybe i am just thinking too much but i can't help to worry everyday whenever the thought of 'N' level flashing through my mind.(is it really easy to be promoted?)Maybe yes or maybe no....The requirement for going to sec5 is B3 for English and Math ,total marks less than 19 points.
......choy choy! touch wood i should not think so much!Time to relax ,not to worry!
Today, i went back to school even earlier than usual.It was weird!I know i was bored when i reached the classroom.(usually there would be chit-chat,sound of people walking around and even sound of the bouncing basketball)Just for that moment,i seriously miss those sounds and it look kind of unusual when the empty seats were facing you.
I really wondered was the time moving faster ?I took a seat and anticipated for a familiar figure to appear at the door.Some appeared but some did not ,i guess i must have miss my class too much right?
it was quite an unpleasant day.I pretended not to know anything.I did not know what to do as a friend , i was in a state of confusion.It was my first time unable to provide a proper solution(my first time,i really did not feel like caring about anything).People seems to upset with one another .
It doesnt seems to be my business.I was exhausted with quarrels between friends.
Just tell me,what is your expectation and definition of friends(best friends,close friends).....You guys are my friends ,i dont really wish anything that would happened to both parties....regardless of who.....
I really miss the laughter of friends and classmates.After we graduate,will we able to be stay contact with each other? Perhaps not....
.................................What is life???What is love???What is friendship????
----> love isnt a fairy tale,it isnt forever !(its blind)
------>friendship require contact,commitment,isnt forever too!(after graduation say byebye!)
------->life isnt a game ,once is over ,is over.It is full of obstacles.It is limited edition....
Exam is over! <3 i am already at my doors-the door of my Freedom~.~ :P (freedom from 'n' level!!!)
Yesterday,i went out my OBFF peeps to shop at Orchard!GOSH!when i stepped out of the MRT,i was really thinking-i think i am lost!It had been a long long time since i went to Orchard with friends,this time, i was thinking to shop on my own but it might be a wise choice to shop with friends better!(aiya,i admit! i am road idiot!)I wanted to buy my swimming suit but i ended up forgetting about it....
CK,XY,YX,MANDY and EVAN ,we went to shop for prom stuffs....i really enjoyed looking for clothes because i started to love shopping(i really hope i was a rich girl!T.T)CLOTHES!!!<3 i still have not found my ideal prom dress !T.T but i saw some other dress( maybe i might consider to buy them)
after Orcahrd we went clarke quay , i saw some cute hamsters !!!!I even saw a hamster like TZ's hamster and a hamster with weird patterns on its back running around!!!they are so small,the way they sleep ,they way they play and the way they play!!!! (OMG!!!CUTE~si le!!! XP)
To ALPHA :want a friend ?(she told me she will consider)
* ALpha is my beloved hamster!*
We meet up with SIF,TZ And HM!they went out to take pictures!!I even bought a ice cream from the turkish ice cream!heehee...
HAHA!!!!i recalled ah yi did something funny(i prefer not to share with u !:P) i wonder why are my friends so cute! HAHAHAHAHA.......(*bad!!!*)
heehee.....overall yesterday trip was fun!!!ESPECIALLY the HAMSTERS!!! <3 and the wishes we made !PEEPS!while throwing some coins ! >.<
Heehee...~.~ s.s was over !!!English was over!!!!Chinese was over too!!!!!!!!!YEAH!!!!!!
Not knowing why..i seems to have ample of motivation....to study.Is it because it is coming to an end?i told myself i have given my best for my 'n' level,i am not going to give up even though i know i have no confidence in getting a B3 for English.
SO WHAT?!?It was over!!!^^
I told my mother not to be so hopeful of me being promoted to Sec 5.But her answer was,"i am confident that you would be promoted if you had given your best!"Even though, you are unable to be promoted,then there is no choice.
My mother ,friends and tutor told me i am able to be promoted since i have put in alot of hard work!I shouldn't give up so easily!Who AM I?? TAN ZHAO YI OKAY!!!A BRAVE & DETERMINE PERSON!!( omg! i am so thick-skinned,lack of skin,please find me!-.-''')
~~~~~~~~~~~~~>>>>
left 25 days to chemistry and biology ,26 days to art and mathematics paper 1 and 28 days to geography and mathematics paper 2! <~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`CHIONG'!!!!
2 days of relieving stress...time to continue to move on!!!
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sometime i think i am so like a child,doing insane things!!!my poor friends,they must be suffering ^^!!
ALPHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <3 run on wheel!( my habits continue .... -.-''')
SI PEI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! STUDY!!!!!!!(2nd time ,i think i need to visit a doctor)
TING ZHI,EUNICE & HUIMIN!!!!!BALL & SWIMMING&BADMINTON!!!AFTER EXAM!!!!!!!!!!(LETS GO!!!YEAH..Excessive happines AH ZHAO!!)
BEN MEOW !!!!!dont WATCH TOO MUCH MV STUDY!!!SNSD<3 (seriously i think i m crazy!!)
Ah yi and ah kim!!!dont watch so much drama ok!lets STUDY!!!
Rest of the peeps(including u ,u ,u and U)--->lets work hard because there are many of u to type!!my hand is getting tired!!!T.T(finally!!)
My first time typing until i m so tired...after exam i shall practise my fingers!(^^)
JIA YOU PEOPLE!!!!!^^ ah Zhao is confirm crazy!!!
o.o btw i got this picture from searching the google and went to this website(i forgotten the website!!)
OMG!!!!she is so handsome!!!! !! so cool...She is one of the F(x),a korean girl band!!!!...she doesn't look like a girl at all....!!!!^^ anyone
?please fly me to korea.....!!!
HEe..hee....i was frustrated and fuming with anger!!!! ANGRY!!!dont provoke me!!!!
I am hot-temper now!!!DOnt ever wanna see any dammn smokers!!!FREAK SMOKERS!!!!ARGH!!!smoke si ni!!!
sorry i am at a state whereby my emotions are unstable.....
BECAUSE I JUST HATE SMOKERS ,WISH THEM DIE EARLIER,HATE CIGARETTE BECAUSE THAT THING IS SO STUPID,IDIOTIC AND UNCOOL!!!!!!!BECAUSE OF THIS STUPID STICK ,MY DAD IS ADDICTED TO SMOKING!!!!T.T i AM DISCRIMINATING AGAINST THE SMOKERS SO READ THIS SMOKERS---> U R AN IDIOT!!!!<-----------
i am back!!!okay this is my normal state...^^
Lets study S.S ,English and Chinese!!!!KICK N LEVEL!!!AWAY!!!
Laughing at ting zhi,what did i see?i saw her stealing stars from ELMO KHOO!!haha!(exam periods,we tends to be insane so we need to be distressed)
I was actually playing a role play in class with ting zhi!!!wish si pei is here!!!so we can bully her!!!^^(no larh just kidding^^)Ting zhi was pretending to be a ah ma i was her grand-daughter....heehee...!!!(our abnormal state)BE SHOCKED!!!
today,a stranger walk past me and tap my head!!!-.-''' what happened?do i know that person?AHHH!!!i didn't doing anything(i swear) ...I dont know who is that person...(maybe i might know or maybe i forgot but i really cant remember that person)eh now 7th month....dont scared me please!
S.S mock exam....
haha....that mock exam was really mocking at me ... because i cant do the S.E.Q Q2B...now gotttta practice!!!!BYE!!!PEEPS !!!!
I hope this post wont offend anyone ...if u feel offended then i am truly apologetic because i am not good with my words(what am i talking?aiya if you understand then good for you if not i am talking my own languageT.T)...But,i really think alot before posting this post.....
hmm... 'N' level is around the corner ,i have been focusing on my English and Chinese only.(i will focus on s.s too)
I really hope i will get B3 for my English.I really wanted to go 'o' level badly.I dont want to waste my time anymore.
I remember i cried when i received my PSLE 's results.My form teacher was very glad
for us.But i wasn't.My score was 183,in normal academic.Do u know how much i cried after regretting wasting my time playing computer games instead of studying? I never revised my work until the day before the exam but i knew that was not enough.I hated myself then.My addiction to computer games was the cause that i entered NA.I knew my mother was so disappointed in me.She had always thought that i would be able to enter express stream.If i had studied ,would i be different?
....saying this wont change anything....
when i entered HYSS,i remembered i was all alone,without friends.All my best friends went to different schools ,some even same school with classmates,i never regretted choosing HYSS.I wanted my life to start all over again from that moment i stepped into that school.Ting zhi was the first person i knew in that school.She become my best friend^^!!!YEAH!!!!
the second person i knew was CK(chee kim) because she was sitting behind me ^^....then there came the rest....I recalled i hated my secondary school life alot because ting and i were the one being outcast by the others(reason:because they knew one another so they group together)I really hated my class, i even swore that i dont want to be rejected by people.I could even feel myself fuming with anger everytime i saw my classmates.I was a hot-temper girl,i know,i ever make anyone upset,i am hereby to apologise.
My social circle widened,these past few years,jumping from these group to that group of friends,i was so joyful.Now i was so glad that i knew them because i started to treasure them alot regardless of anyone(unless some of them provoke me)
........till sec 4
But now, i am in sec 4,i dont want to be influenced by others and i have a mind of my own!!!I have my own plan and i want to use my time wisely...!!!(its time for me to be self-centre).It is 'N' level , i dont want to regret like last time what i had did for my PSLE!
Until some time,i felt lonely.During an excursion,people would seat with their friends sometime i could unable to find someone to sit with but force to sit with someone i wasn't so close with.I rather to be alone.( i must be mentally wrong ,i guess...)Even having an assembly in the hall tortures me!
.........
I must admit when ting with august, i would feel left out!Some more,we are in the same class.BUT,How can i forbid my friends not to have another friend?that is impossible!Everyone has a right,right?
.............
Even though, sometime i may seem to be like a child and behave quite immature but i will think and care for others......................(no offends)
....next issue....>after reading Si Pei 's blog<........
After having my own plans ,i know i would neglect my friends.I am sorry if sometime i am unable to be at your side comforting you when you are unhappy but at all times i will be supporting you!!Cheer up and Jia you!!I am seriously sorry ,si pei ,ting zhi and the rest.But if i have time,i promise that we would have an outing together.
One of the reason,Sipei,I really want you to go prom night,is that we are able to spend time together and give us a chance for unable to accompany you when you are lonely (hmm...)
i will be waiting for you('n' level)to be over!!!!^^
.....>After exam<.....YESH!!!BIG PLANS!!!!
I m so depressed,how can i handle it?N level is just around the corner.I wish i had been smarter.How?why does it seems to be tough?English ans math ,my weakest subjects.Just having a glance at the comprehension i already know i could hardly make it.What should i do?Write more essays or do more assessments.They seems to be useless.My brain is exploding!!!!! CRIES!!!!!